Bette Midler

I Am The Queen
Michael Holloway, Australia

Bette Midler
Born: Bette Midler
December 1, 1945
Birthplace: Honolulu, Hawaii

“I will never forget it, you know! I was having tea with my girlfriend Clementine, and suddenly the doorbell rang.

I answered the door, there was a delivery boy with two dozen roses.

I said to Clementine, “Do you know what this means? For the next two weeks, I am going to be flat on my back with my legs wide open!”

Clementine says, “What’s the matter with you? Ain’t you got a vase?

Unique is Her Trademark

Bette Midler fans love the characters she created: Soph, Delores, and Vickie Eydie. They are all Midler, the many vivid shades of The Divine Miss M.

She says “Cherish that part of you that makes you unique, because you’re really a yawn if it goes.”

Unique performances are a trademark of Midler’s. In 1997’s concert film, Diva Las Vegas, Midler and her trio of Staggering Harlettes (Melanie Taylor, Carol Hatchett, and Rhae Ann Theriault) performed ‘Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy’ as rowdy mermaids, Delores DeLago, and her sisters.

 

Always a Delightful Surprise

Despite this, Midler prides herself with her fearlessness in saying anything that comes to mind. Her fans are never entirely sure what will come out of her mouth.

The 1985 comedy album Mud Will Be Flung Tonight features celebrities including rising starlet, Madonna
receiving a roasting from Midler they would not soon forget.

“Like a virgin, touched for the very first time…for the very first time today! The only thing that girl will ever do like a virgin is have a baby in a stable, by an unknown father,” said Midler at the roast.

Midler is no more afraid to make fun of herself than she is afraid to satirize others. Her favorite target seems to be her ample breasts.

“How much do these things weigh?’ I realised I had no idea, so I weighed ’em. I bought myself a little mail scale, you know the kind they weigh postage and cocaine on, I undid my bra, flopped one of those suckers down on the mail scale…I won’t tell you how much they weighed, but it’d cost $87.50 to send ’em to Brazil, third class.”

Divine Madness

Midler’s Divine Madness concert from 1980, was another comic riot, among some of the best jokes were the ones taking potshots at the British Royal Family, especially Her Maj.

“We got to lay our eyes on her hiney, the Queen. Have you seen her? Oh kids, she is the whitest woman in the whole world! She makes us all look like the Third World. There can be no question that she is a Protestant. I mean, she has the wardrobe and everything. I only have one question for Her Maj…WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN THAT PURSE? What do you think she’s got in that purse? I mean I know she ain’t got car fare in there or nothing. She’s probably got one of those little identification cards saying I AM THE QUEEN…”

“I’d kill to get one of them hats. Who do you suppose makes them hats for her, huh? She’s probably got some little Hat Fairy down in the basement stitching up them hats, saying “Oh, Queenie’s gonna love this one…”

Fans Adore Her

Fans are warmed by Midler’s compassion, her sweet ballads, though feigning shock at her spicy humour. We are grateful to Bette for her movies, music, and live shows, rejoicing in her adamance that “I’m not retiring any time soon and you can’t make me!”

A staunch humanitarian and social rights advocate, she is fond of her audience who return the love. Midler enjoys the adulation, though claims she is innately shy.

On September 23, 2008 Midler released a fabulous Greatest Hits style compilation Jackpot! The Best Bette, which also features a previously unreleased, and beautiful song, “Something Your Heart Has Been Telling Me.”

On November 4, 2008  Midler released a belated but very much welcome CD of her much-loved 1997 concert Diva Las Vegas as well as an extended DVD with out-takes and special features.

Midler is currently performing in Las Vegas at Caesar’s Palace. Bookmark this page for upcoming reviews on her show and the August edition of Living Life…Boomer Style Magazine’s Hot Vacation pick Las Vegas.

On December 21 2008, Midler’s new movie The Women will be released on DVD. Midler plays “The Countess”, a health guru for celebrities and other elite types. She helps the film’s protagonist (played by Meg Ryan) to find her inner strength, after seeking counselling after her husband (men are unseen in the movie) has an affair with a perfume salesgirl (Eva Mendes).

Midler plays a role that had been previously played by Mary Boland in the original version of The Women in 1939, and by Agnes Moorehead in The Opposite Sex, the 1956 semi-musical remake with men added.

Check out the show review from Midler’s The Showgirl Must Go On at Caesar’s. It’s funny.

Want More Bette?
Bette Midler Official Website.
Bootleg Betty Blog about Bette created by the fabulous Mr D.
Unlock Divinity Fansite by my dear friend Sarah Helen from the UK.

Tagged Bette Midler, music