Love & Marriage
Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing
Angela Carbone
Ooooh, the mystery of chemistry. That intuitive tug when first seeing the object of one’s attraction. Electrical sparks are felt between two human beings and all observers can sense it, too. It’s science and yet sooo much more!!
Self Discovery
Of course there is the visual appeal where one prefers a particular body type and facial features. There have been studies, which indicate a person’s smell can allure or detract. Personality types come into play of what makes one’s heart beat a little faster.
It’s In The Eyes
But perhaps most importantly a connection gets solidified from what lies behind the eyes. Sure, it is argued that men tend to be more inclined to be led by mainly what they find visually stimulating, whereas the female mixes in more of her emotional response.
And, then, there is the delineation between love and sex. Does one love everyone, to some degree or another, with whom one is sexually involved? It is up for debate and individual tastes.
Some people have a clear-cut vision of what they want. Others go through periods of experimentation in their journey of self-discovery. What molds these inclinations? Are they carved in the DNA? Are they a product of parental example, peer pressure, psychological happenings or marketing mesmerizations?
Is sex really merely stemming from a biological urge to propagate one’s lineage. There are some theories from the more paranormal view of thought that those with which we have an immediate chemistry may very well be friends, lovers, relatives or even enemies from shared past lives.
Choices
In any case, it often turns out to be a game of hit or miss, this inclination of following through with sexual attraction. It’s helpful to question oneself using a lesson acquired from various spiritual masters on how we should approach whatever we choose to do in life; like one who rides a roller coaster. Do we ride it with glee and laughter and AHHHHH’s or do we approach it with fright or anxiety and UGHHHH’s?
What matters is not so much what happens, but how we react to what happens. Ultimately happiness is NOT dependent on what happens TO us from the outside but what we bring from what IS already inside us.
There is thought, such as Deepak Chopra’s from his book/audio ‘The Path to Love’ that all relationships are a relationship to God. It has been said that in order to ideally enjoy a relationship with another, whether it is one of a love and/or sexual nature, one has to truly love oneself first.
Value
To love oneself, one has to firstly dig deep and perhaps do a little probing of the sources of feelings of worthiness or the lack thereof. Then if need be, revisit times that your little child within needed to be shown love and care.
Picture the adult you, cuddling and hugging the you, as the little child, telling the child that they are worthy of love and respect and all good things. Then, bring that loving feeling to fill you up in the here and now.
Cater to yourself by taking lots of ‘you’ time with practices of relaxation whether it be spiritual practices such as yoga ( which actually means union), tai chi, qi gong which also involves meditation, deep breathing or taking long baths, communing in nature, going for massages and saunas, etc.
There are intimacy workshops available in such lovely spots as Harbin Hot Springs, located north of San Fransisco.
When you recharge yourself from the Source Energy you can come to a relationship as a whole joining with another whole, not two halves needing to make a whole.
As my spiritual Papa, Swami Satchidananda, used to say, “Being in the perfect relationship is like being two wings of the same bird. “
Trying to depend on another to fill you, will only deplete the object of your affection, thereby causing codependency which generates a very unhealthy way of relating.
Surrender
One’s love relationship should be treated like a work of art. For a better perspective before continuing, step back like an artist steps away from a canvas to better analyse one’s creation in progress. Take it slow. It doesn’t have to be official tantra where one practices using specific age-old tools. Be mindful and drink deeply, enjoying the pleasure and joy of each little moment with your beloved. Then it is just a natural flow to the surrender and letting go to the cosmic fireworks.
Acknowledge the yin and the yang within yourself, owning and being comfortable with both the masculine and feminine sides of your nature equally. Sure, we human beings are on this planet Earth, full of dichotomies and there will be mistakes, challenges, obstacles along our paths of learning.
Likened to computer lingu…sometimes when errors happen, we need to relax, approach the problem centered in the knowledge that everything is perfect and then we will find and download fixes and update drivers and check and realign settings to make sure the connection is intact so that we can plug in and surf the world wide web and do it while gleefully sighing, Ahhhhhhh!!!
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