A View From Robin's Nest
Miscommunication
Your What Broke?
A Broken Typewriter
Robin Hoselton
I saw an article in this magazine about recharging one’s sex life. It brought to mind a telephone discussion I had back in the typewriter era in which a barking dog scrambled the conversation.
“Hi, Robin. How are you?,” said Paula.
“Hi, Paula. I’ve got a personal tragedy to report, said Robin.”
“What’s wrong Robin?”
“My typewriter broke,” said Robin.
“Hush, Max. Quit barking. You say your vibrator broke? That’s terrible,” said Paula.
“No, not my vibrator. My typewriter. Maybe Tom could get it fixed.”
“Max, settle down, I can’t hear. I don’t think you ought to ask Tom to get it fixed. Just get another one.”
“Another one? But they’re so expensive and I like the model I have.”
“They’re not that expensive and if you can’t have good sex, that’s the next best thing, right?”
“Well, yeah, I probably do use it more often than I have sex.”
French Ticklers?
“Shut up, Max. So what model do you like? Have you ever tried the ones with French ticklers?”
“No, I guess I’m not up on the latest technology. Mine’s made in the USA and it’s just an IBM Selectric. How does the tickler function?”
“What do you think? It tickles, silly. Don’t you like to get tickled?”
“I’m not sure I understand. It depends on how well I write whether or not I get tickled.”
“Be quiet, Max. It doesn’t matter if you’re right about anything. It doesn’t take any great skill. All you need are fresh batteries.”
“Batteries? Mine’s electric.”
“Don’t your legs get tangled up in the cord?”
“Occasionally, but it’s still better than portable ones. You know that. In fact, you showed me your new one with the screen.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. That must have been
somebody else. What do you need a screen for?”
“Why, to see what you’re doing.”
“You don’t have to see what you’re doing. You just poke it in.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re better at it than I am. I have to think about how to get it just right, and even then it takes two or three tries before I’m satisfied.”
“Sounds to me like you need a little lubrication.”
“The typewriter repair man advised me never to use oil.”
“Max, please stop your yapping. I’m sorry this darn dog keeps barking. It sounded like you said the typewriter repair man was advising you.”
“I did.”
“Are you having an affair with him?”
“No, why would you think so?”
“Well, why would he be telling you not to use oil with your vibrator.”
“I’m glad the dog stopped barking. I think we’ve been having a problem here. I’ve been talking about typewriters and you’re talking about vibrators.”
“Oh. You mean your vibrator isn’t broken?”
“Good-bye, Paula.”
Tagged miscommunication, typewriter