House for Rent

House for Rent

Robin Hoselton

Today I discovered that my tenants had vacated my rental property without notice. I don’t blame them as the house is literally falling apart. Let me assure you that I’m not a slumlord. I plan to erect a new dwelling in its place to lure back the former occupants.

In avian circles, they are known as Mr. and Mrs. Black-capped Chickadee.

Early this spring I bought a darling birdhouse which resembled a country cottage complete with a white picket fence. It was one of those “my life won’t be complete until I get it” items.

Afterward, I did my due diligence on the hows and whys of attracting birds to man-made birdhouses. Alas, my impulsive purchase apparently was unfit for feathered denizens.

According to the Department of the Interior U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the entrance holes of boxes should face north or east to avoid overheating in hot summers. However, I wanted to show off its charming decor to passersby, so I faced it south.

Next, I learned that the height of the birdhouse should be between 5 and 15 feet.  I had already bought and painted a post to mount it. After sinking it deep enough to withstand high winds, it measured 4 feet.

I was advised to install the house in fall or winter to give it a chance to weather before nesting season. I’m getting on in years. I could croak by then. So I said to heck with that and put it up immediately.

Also, the nest box shouldn’t be placed too near human activity. Otherwise, the parent birds may spend too much time defending their nest and not enough time eating or gathering food for their young. With garden plants due to arrive in the mail, I had no choice but to plant them—in their designated spot around the birdhouse.

Lastly, those in the know said I should place one or two inches of dry wood chips in the box. Was I expected to apply for a bank loan to buy gas, then drive to a nursery and buy a big bag of mulch just for a handful of chips? The floor remained bare.

With so many broken rules, I decided to forget about the birds and enjoy my little house as garden ornamentation. But after a few rains, my enjoyment turned to disgust as the cheap balsa layers on the bottom of the house began separating. I tried to glue them together with no success. Finally, I secured them by wrapping a nylon line around the house.

Imagine my surprise when the next day I saw a pair of chickadees inspecting this abode. Obviously they didn’t care what experts said was bird-worthy. They promptly moved in and soon thereafter I observed them making innumerable trips bringing food to their ravenous babies.

In spite of the yard being a bit quieter now without their noisy cheer, I haven’t had time to miss the chickadees.  A couple of wrens just began housekeeping in my mailbox!