HGTV

Champagne of the South
Robin Hoselton

In mid-day when the outdoor temperature reaches that of a sauna, I doff my straw hat to take a break from gardening. While I sip the champagne of the South (ice tea), I indulge in a recent addiction–watching Home and Garden TV programs. When I started viewing these shows, I considered them an easy way to learn about home decorating, room designs, and modern trends. However, I’ve concluded that modern home trends may be for the younger set.

Stainless Steel, Yuk!

In nearly all the kitchen remodels, for example, stoves, refrigerators and dishwashers are updated to stainless steel. Apparently I’m a fuddy-duddy because I wouldn’t dream of throwing out my 10-year old refrigerator just to show how “in” I am by replacing it with an industrial-looking stainless steel model boasting an ice maker. Dishwasher? Mine is the manual variety. All it costs to keep working smoothly is a $3.00 bottle of hand lotion. The lack of that appliance supposedly will be a drawback when the time comes to sell the house, but I plan to stay here for a long time.

What Color?

As for what color to paint the walls–good luck figuring that out. The emcee on one show advised painting all walls a neutral color and using colorful accessories to liven up the rooms. Does he really think everybody has the income to spend on bright red useless doodads just to give oomph to a room? Another designer says not to stick with neutral paint because that’s boring so slap color on those walls!

One makeover host says to give your home a personality by showing off your passions. Another says don’t display any personal collections to decorate. Well what in heck am I to do with hobby stuff–keep it hidden in a closet? Speaking of closets: Why is it that whenever closets are featured on these shows, the female homeowner always says she needs the big walk-in closet for her shoes and her husband will just have to use the closet in the guest bedroom down the hall? In my house, my guy has 41 pairs of shoes while I have six.

I Like My Vertical Blinds

I was offended when a young designer said vertical blinds are old-fashioned and make a room look like a hotel. I like my vertical blinds and when my feline snoozes on the back of the sofa beside the windowsills, I don’t have to clean his cat hair off draperies.

All these authorities are in agreement about having oodles of pillows and cushions on beds. I tried that once. Sure they looked luxurious but they were a pain in the you-know-what to take off the bed when I wanted to sleep and then put them back on every morning. And not having a spacious “master” bedroom, just where was I supposed to stash them in the meantime–the floor?

I think I’ll stick to my outdated lifestyle instead of listening to these experts. In the overall scheme of things, if I’m happy putting ice cube trays in my white refrigerator, does it really matter?