Spiritual
Finding Meaning In the Second Half of Life
Finding Meaning In the Second Half of Life
Dedicated to Bob Schmidt who taught more people about Living Life with meaning, purpose, passion, and honesty. This column describes Bob to a T.
Alexander Green
Dear Reader,
It is an ironic fact of modern life. We in the materially prosperous West are living the most healthful and outwardly comfortable lives of any people in history.
Yet according to the National Library of Medicine, nearly 8% of American adults – over 20 million people – are suffering from depression. Adjusting for population growth, depression is ten times as prevalent today as it was 50 years ago.
Prozac Nation
No wonder the United States has been dubbed “Prozac Nation.” According to the American Mental Health Alliance, we spend over $86 billion a year on anti-depressants. (Insert low whistle here.)
Much of today’s psychotherapy, unfortunately, is little more than a pharmacological crapshoot. Doctors prescribe a pill and if that doesn’t work, well… heck, let’s try another one. (Insurance providers actually prefer this approach, incidentally, because it’s cheaper than therapy.) Yet studies show that roughly one-third of patients fail to respond to any kind of drug treatment.
Is it possible that some of these patients have a problem that a prescription – or even traditional therapy – can’t solve?
Before you assume that I’ll be joining Tom Cruise for an afternoon in La-La Land, hear me out…
Psychologists believe that roughly a quarter of Americans with symptoms of depression suffer from a chemical imbalance that, like diabetes, is most effectively treated with medication.
Others are experiencing a kind of reactive depression that is triggered by a serious reversal of some kind, an unexpected layoff, for example, or the sudden loss of a loved one. This form of depression can be severe but will ordinarily fade with time.
Yet, according to Dr. James Hollis of the C.J. Jung Educational Center in Houston, millions more suffer from a chronic melancholy that emanates from an entirely different source: a lack of meaning in their lives.
Yet, according to Dr. James Hollis of the C.J. Jung Educational Center in Houston, millions more suffer from a chronic melancholy that emanates from an entirely different source: a lack of meaning in their lives.
This problem is particularly acute in retirement. In the workforce we are accustomed to having a place to be and a time to be there, with deadlines and projects to complete. In many ways, we draw our identity from our work.
Retirement Boring or Tedious
So it can be a shock if retirement arrives and we discover that the days of rest and relaxation we so eagerly anticipated are instead boring or tedious. Of course, you don’t have to retire to experience a profound ennui. Millions of workers search in vain for meaning and fulfillment, too.
Many of them are haunted by the vague notion that something is missing in their lives. Often they can’t put their finger on it. But it gnaws at them, creating fear, anxiety and, in some cases, depression.
In his memoir “Memories, Dreams, Reflections,” pioneering psychologist Carl Jung writes, “I have frequently seen people become neurotic when they content themselves with inadequate or wrong answers to the questions of life. They seek position, marriage, reputation, outward success or money, and remain unhappy and neurotic even when they have attained what they were seeking. Such people are usually contained within too narrow a spiritual horizon. Their life has not sufficient meaning.”
But if meaning is missing, where can it be found?
Bob Schmidt lived his life well, he was a great mentor, husband, father, and friend. He taught many people how to care of themselves well. He is missed. |
Some Find It
Some find the answer in their religious traditions. Others discover it by studying the world’s wisdom literature, the great writings by history’s wisest souls. Still others are fortunate enough to see it modeled by a parent, friend, or teacher, someone who is not merely living up to someone else’s expectations but is instead busy living “an authentic life.” These men and women are too rare (Our Bob).
And when they appear, society has a tendency to label them eccentric. As the poet T.S. Eliot once observed, in a world of fugitives, the person who is headed in the right direction will appear to be running away. Ironically, it is popular culture itself that sends many people down the wrong path, bombarding them with dubious notions of satisfaction and success.
Reexamining Priorities
“Western society has lost its way, producing material goods in impressive superfluity but also generating so much stress and pressure that people cannot enjoy what they attain,” Gregg Easterbrook writes in “The Progress Paradox.” “Perhaps men and women must reexamine their priorities – demanding less, caring more about each other, appreciating what they have instead of grousing about what they do not have, giving more than lip service to the wisdom that money cannot buy happiness.”
It’s tragic when someone sacrifices years of his life, his friendships, his family – sometimes even his health – pursuing goals that are ultimately unfulfilling. Mythologist Joseph Campbell once quipped that midlife is when you reach the top of the ladder and find it’s leaning against the wrong wall. That’s why it cannot be said too often: Money. Possessions. Luxury. These are not the hallmarks of a life well lived. At best, they are merely by-products.
“Despite the blandishments of popular culture, the goal of life is not happiness but meaning,” writes Dr. Hollis, author of “Finding Meaning In the Second Half of Life.”
Am I Enlarged or Diminished
To determine whether you’re on the right track, he suggests you ask yourself a simple question: “Does the path I’m on enlarge me or diminish me?” Your answer, he says, should be immediate and instinctive.
Yes, we’re all busy. But can we possibly be too busy to get our priorities straight? After all, only you can determine what is most important in your life, whether you’re working, retired or somewhere in between. You can choose to pursue what’s most important.
Living an authentic life is not an easy choice. The poet e.e. cummings said, “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
So expect conflicts and hurdles. Setbacks, too. Finding creative solutions to these challenges fuels the mind with positive energy. It gives you the opportunity to show yourself – and those around you – how much you really want it.
And, in the process, it gives your life meaning.
As Carl Jung observed, “Meaning makes a great many things endurable – perhaps everything.”
As Carl Jung observed, “Meaning makes a great many things endurable – perhaps everything.”
Carpe Diem,
Alex
Alex
May 23, 2008